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Ryan James and Moe Perez. Photos by Nick Lostracco. Click to enlarge.

Many in our neighborhoods celebrated when the California Supreme Court ruled earlier this year that the state Constitution protects a fundamental right to marry. The May 15, 2008 decision legalized same-sex marriage and extended legal equal protection to these families.

Together for four and a half years, Laurel residents Deborah Jue and Jennifer Greene couldn't wait to marry. The couple wed in a ceremony before friends and both of their families at Roberts Regional Park. Jennifer remembers the busy preparations. "Friends helped, but there was still a lot of work." Deborah added that "the wedding was creative and personalized—Jen remade two sheet cakes into a wedding cake, and I worked out the music. We also did our own flowers, and Jen did her own dress alterations!"

Lincoln Heights residents Ryan James and Moe Perez have had three weddings in the past four years. They first married in 2004, when San Francisco began marrying all couples. A court later ruled that the city lacked the power to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, which invalided their marriage.

After the May 15 State Supreme Court ruling, they applied for a marriage license and planned a large wedding and reception with their families. Before that wedding, however, they received a call from City Hall. Mayor Ron Dellums was officiating Oakland's first weddings since the ruling. Ryan remembers accepting the invitation. "It was empowering to see the mayor at City Hall and [U.S. Representative] Barbara Lee there as witness." Their third wedding followed later that summer as planned, with their large extended families and friends.

Both couples had been registered domestic partners and explained that domestic partnership wasn't equal to marriage. "Becoming domestic partners seemed so businesslike," Deborah explained. "We went to the state Web site and downloaded a form and brought it to a notary. It was very different than standing with other couples in a beautiful City Hall applying for our marriage license." Jennifer recalls how this status confused others. "I'd introduce Deb as my partner, leaving some wondering: did I mean business partner?".

Ryan remembered that, even after six and a half years, Moe's family was unsure what to call him. "Was I his roommate or maybe his boyfriend? Only after the wedding ceremony did they get it and begin calling me their brother-in-law."

"Marriage is the melding of two families," Moe said. "It is universally understood what it means to be married."

Like most lesbian and gay couples, neither couple accepts the arguments of those against their marriages. Jennifer notes that court rulings have extended marriage equality in the past. "My mother is Chinese, my father European-American. Without a court ruling striking down the ban on interracial unions, their marriage would have been illegal."

On the position that marriage is only to raise children, Moe said, "There are gay families raising children, and heterosexual marriages without children." He added that "I grew up in a Catholic family, so I know that God loves us all equally."

Proposition 8 on the November 4 ballot seeks to amend the state Constitution to define marriage as between only "one man and one woman." If passed, the state Constitution will be changed to eliminate the right for couples like Deborah and Jennifer and Ryan and Moe to marry.

"We are just like other married couples, fixing up our house and working hard to pay a mortgage," Moe said. "How can anyone be against that?"